Last night will make the second dream this month that I was going to die or died. I forgot to write about the first dream but I basicaly was killed in my dream.
Last night, I was in Prison and was going to be put to death. I was in an orange jump suit . At one point I was sitting in my cell on the edge of the bed - and it was like the first time I really let the fact that I was going to die sink in and I was in shock, disbelife, although not afraid, sad, regretful that I was so young and had not lived and done the things I thought I should have. That everyday I wasted doing nothing. I realized how special living was. And I was enormously sad, and the sadness was intensified because I knew I did not have a second chance to make it right.
On my last day I walked down this hallway carring a large duffle bag, it too was orange, I am pretty sure it was all my belongings. I was going into a large room where someone was that I loved. I could not see this person but I knew it was our last visit, time together, and I gave my bad to this person. I remember the Warden being kind and sorrowful that I was being put to death.
There is a part of me that thinks I was allowed a new chance that I walked out alive, but the dream is too vauge to recall what really happened. So I will take it like this.
I woke up so I do have a new opportunity to live my life as I should be. Not to waste opportunities to show, tell, others and myself how special they are.
One of the things that confirms I love my husband, because I love him the most when I am so mad at him. Loving him when things are wonderful is easy and normal.
Loving everyone, even when their actions are hurtful, confussing, o causes anger to rise in me, Love unconditionaly. Pray, ask for my heart to not judge, but to live with sincere love, and trust what ever their path is and purpose is that I accept them even when I do not understand. And Know that their actions that cause me to hurt is not personal, it is their pain coming out and I just happen to be there.
I ask that the day I die regardless of how it happens, that I never regret my life ~!
Always,Ann
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